My experience: hallucination

I have schizophrenia. One of main symptoms in schizophrenia is hallucination. I had hallucination, too. What hallucination is like? In this article, I will explain my hallucination experience.

Before diagnosis of schizophrenia 

Before I got schizophrenia, I had had social anxiety disorder. So, I had seen a doctor since I was 14. Although I visited a psychiatrist regularly, my mental condition did not get better, and what’s worse, I got schizophrenia. A bit before I got the disease, I had a lot of hallucination. For example, I saw rats crawling on the wall at night. I was woke at night by be swayed, which was not once, very often, or even several times on the same night.

A bit after diagnosis of schizophrenia

When I realized terrible things happened to me, my hallucination was so awful. When I go out or sometimes even in my room, I heard someone was talking behind my back. It was so awful. If I moved to bathroom, the voice said, ”Hey, you get the bathroom dirty!” And I often got a nightmare, which was often related to ghost. The nightmare woke up and I could not sleep again soon and the fear made me leave the light on because I wanted to avoid darkness.

The current situation about hallucination

These days, I rarely have hallucination. Because I have improved my mental condition by taking medicine as told by doctor. However, I sometimes, not often, have a strange feeling like feeling ghosts around me when I feel stressed. I don’t like this experience but somehow give up disappearing this feeling. I realize I can recover to some degree but I have to accept my condition related to schizophrenia.

In this article, I wrote about my experience of hallucination. Actually, it is difficult for healthy people to imagine hallucination. But people with this experience actually exist around the world. Please remember that.

My experience: drinking water too much

If you have schizophrenia or other mental illness, you may have an experience with drug side effects. Me, too. Drug side effect is unpleasant and sometimes make you worried. In this article, I will share you about drinking too much water as drug side effect.

Drinking too much water is common in patients with schizophrenia.

When I stated taking medicine for schizophrenia, I wanted to drink water too much. It was not just once. My desire to drink water became my custom since then. I felt water was filled in my stomach and sometimes felt sick but I could not stop drinking water. When I talked about it with a friend with schizophrenia, she told me she had the same experience.

Drinking water too much is to dilute medicine.

At first, I didn’t know why I wanted so much water. Later I knew the reason. A book told me that drinking water too much is to dilute medicine in my body. Medicine for schizophrenia is so powerful that human body wants to decline the effect. On the other hand, such medicine is needed to recover, of course. At that time, I took more medicine than now. When I went home from a hospital, I had a bag filled with medicine. It was necessary for me to curb my symptoms.

I drink less water than before now.

As I wrote above, medicine is needed for recovery. So, I cannot stop taking medicine. However, as I recovered from schizophrenia, I took less medicine than before, leading to not drinking water too much. Although I drink more water than healthy people, it does not matter to me. Just prepare. When I go out for a long time, I prepare a bottle filled with water. It is not bad because I can save money from buying juice from vending machines.

In this article, I wrote about drinking water too much as side effect of medicine. It is hard to avoid the side effect but you can manage to live with it. Sometimes you think it is hard to live with the new custom, but you can think it gives you the new life.

How to go steady with your lover well

Some people with mental diseases have lovers including me. How they keep their relationship? In this article, I will show you how to go steady with your lover well in the point of view of a patient with mental illness.

Disclose your disease to your lover

Some people with mental illnesses, especially Japanese, hesitate to disclose their disease to their lovers because they don’t want their lovers to dislike them. They already know some people don’t like the people having mental diseases, so it may applies to their lovers. But if you cannot trust your lover, it is not a serious love, isn’t it? If you love him or her, trust him or her. If he or she reject you, it means he or she is just an unworthy of your lover.

Don’t depend on your lover too much 

If you are people with mental illnesses, you may tend to depend on your lover. But is it really good? It’s ok to talk to your lover about your disease and sometimes want your lover’s advice, of course. It isn’t good to limit your lover’s personal life or demand to come to see you very often despite of his or her being busy. I recommend to keep comfortable space between you and your lover, which is different among people. So, talk to your lover deeply how relationship is suitable to you.

Your goal is marriage? Really?

If you have a serious relationship to your lover, you may want to get married someday. But is it really good? Unfortunately some people with mental diseases have poorer income than healthy people do. It can be difficult to make a living when you get married. If your lover says, “Don’t mind. I have large income.” No problem. But if your lover says,” we are an independent couple, right? So, we have to make a living by working equally.”

It’s a problem. So, I recommend to seek your way to keep your relationship. For example, you save money to live together with your lover. When you live together with your lover, getting income is a lover’s job, while cooking, cleaning or laundry is your job. It is one of good choice, I think.

People with mental illnesses have a lot of difficulty to keep relationship with your lover, but also can make a deep bond with your lover because of their illness.

When I realize how effective I take mental medicine

I take medicine for schizophrenia, or antipsychotics at the time before going bed every day. In this article, I will share you how I feel taking the medicine.

I don’t know this medicine is effective to me.

Antipsychotics is one of medicines for schizophrenia. Although I take this medicine every day, I don’t know this medicine is effective to me, because the medicine works later. So, I know taking medicine is important for me to curb schizophrenia but sometimes think “Isn’t it necessary for me?” Maybe it is one of reasons many patients of the disease stop taking medicine.

Compared to the past, I can say medicine is effective to me.

I have taken antipsychotics for about 10 years. The fact is that I can do more things than 10 years ago. 10 years ago, I was just lying bed almost all day and depended on my mother about managing money, cooking, shopping, and almost everything. Today I have a job, sometimes cook, drive a car, go shopping. So, I can say it takes a long time to realize the effect of the medicine.

To forget to take medicine once is not bad.

If you have schizophrenia, you have to take medicine for a long time. But, you may sometimes forget to take medicine. Me, too. In my experience, it is not bad. As I write, antipsychotics takes a long time to work. And medicine stay in your body for several days, not one day. So, don’t worry. It is OK to take medicine as usual after forgetting to take it.

In this article, I wrote about medicine. Antipsychotics takes a long time to work, so be patient for a while. I recommend you to take medicine as habit like drinking water.

How's daily life in mental hospital in Japan.

I was admitted to mental hospital for schizophrenia. Some people may want to know how’s like in mental hospital. In this article, I will share with you about the life in mental hospital in Japan.

I had seen a doctor once a week

When I was in mental hospital, I had a checkup once a week. Not me but also other patients had a checkup once a week unless we didn’t deteriorate rapidly. Although we had to stay in hospital when we had an examination, basically we could spend our time as we liked.

We had activities to recover from mental illnesses

On weekdays, we had activities like volleyball, mah-jongg and pottery. Because I didn’t like exercising, I often played mah-jongg with other patients. Some patients were younger as me, while others are older people. But we could enjoy our time supported by a psychotherapist. We had rights whether we joined activities or not, so some people didn’t join any activities.

We could go out or stay at home if approved by doctor.

While in the hospital, we could go out or stay at home for a night if approved by doctor. I would often go to karaoke or shopping. When entering the hospital, our belongings were checked by staff because the hospital banned us from bringing knife or rope, which can be used for suicide.

In this article, I wrote the life of patients in mental hospital in Japan. Although I had thought staying at mental hospital was like nightmare, it was not true at least for me. I felt relaxed during the stay because there was almost no cause of stress.

How to communicate with people having schizophrenia

Some people don’t know how to communicate with people having schizophrenia. I have schizophrenia. So, I’ll tell you the points about communication with schizophrenia people in the point of view of the patient in this article.

You should behave to schizophrenia patients as you do to usual people.

Many people with schizophrenia like treated usually. They don’t like treated as patient. Of course, they have mental problems but they have a desire to be treated equally as others. For example, some people often said to me, “Are you ok?” or “You should have a rest”. Sometimes I was annoyed because they rarely said to healthy people. I know they cared my body or mind but many worried words made me irritated.

People with schizophrenia are sensitive to discriminative words or attitude.

If schizophrenia patients receive discriminative word or attitude, they may escape such people and feel depressed later. Their mind is so sensitive, pure and innocent that people should avoid blaming them. For my case, when ex-friends rejected me at college, I smiled nervously but the story still have remained in my mind.

If you want to talk about schizophrenia with the patients, you have to accept their experience.

Some people like friends or family sometimes want to talk about schizophrenia with the patients. It is not bad. But you have to careful not to reject their experience, just to accept. For them, the experience of schizophrenia is like nightmare, so they want you to listen to their story calmly. It is no need to comment on their story. It is desirable to accept their story.

In this article, I wrote about how to communicate with schizophrenia patients. They are also human as others, so it is best to communicate with them naturally.

Reading is good for people with metal illnesses

I like reading books and some people with mental illnesses, too. Why do they like books? What is the benefit by reading books? I’ll show you about them in this article.

Why do people with mental illnesses continue to read books? 

As you know, a lot of metal illnesses deprive their patients of concentration of reading anything. Especially, in the acute stage of the illnesses, they hardly keep anything with a will of them. However, many of them return to read books as before. At least, for me I continue to read books because it gives me comfortable and peaceful feelings and I can enjoy my time alone. It is also true for many of people with mental illnesses.

How to read books

After I recovered from schizophrenia, I wanted to start reading again as before. When I was a junior high school student, I used to read books for 30 minutes before going bed. It was a good routine, I thought. So, I stated to do again. The result was wonderful. My mind became calm and could sleep well.

I can’t keep reading for a long time, though.

I often read books but I can’t keep reading for a long time because of an aftereffect of schizophrenia. Of course, I sometimes think, “What a miserable situation!”, but mostly I accept my current ability. Although I can’t concentrate on reading for a long time, I choose to do for a short time many times. It is a good idea, I think. My custom have to suit my ability.

In this article, I wrote about reading. If you like spending at home when you have a time, I recommend reading books.

What is the sign schizophrenia patients' conditions get worse?

I have had schizophrenia for about 10 years. I know some signs when my condition is getting worse. I will tell you some examples on this page.

I feel sound around me a little loud.

When I feel sound like TV or people’s voice a little loud or those sound scare me, I find myself getting worse conditions. I don’t usually care them, so when I find changing my feeling to the world around me, I decide to take a rest like lying on bed or listening to calm music.

Fatigue is an important factor.

Another sign is feeling fatigue. When I am tired, I am more sensitive to the environment around me, so when I feel tired outside, I try to go home soon. It is not good to work hard when you feel tired. When you are in such a situation, you should avoid the cause of your sensitiveness.

Having a nightmare

When I don’t have good conditions of my mind, I often have a nightmare. So, I often wake up at midnight or become sleepy when I get up in the morning. If you don’t have enough sleeping time, your activity during the daytime is not good. I recommend you to prepare good sleeping conditions.

In this page, I showed three worse signs of schizophrenia. I hope you get over your difficulty of schizophrenia.

Should you disclose schizophrenia to others?

As you know, schizophrenia patients often receive discriminative remarks or behaviors, also in Japan. I predict many of them worry whether they should disclose their disease. I will tell you my solution to the problem.

You have right not to say everything.

Many people with mental disorders are serious, so they are sorry for not telling they are with such diseases. But don’t mind! You’re right to not to say everything. If you have secrets, you don’t have to tell them. If you can have good friends or future lovers, you have to think about it. Telling your disease is for particular people, you love ones.

When to tell your loved one your disease

I have a girlfriend. I disclosed my disease when we decided to start our relationship. Not only this case, I also did so to ex-girlfriends. This is good points for people with mental diseases. First, you don’t have to worry whether your loved ones notice your disease, which would be a big burden to socialize with them. Second, your loved one can care your body or mind, if necessary. Third, you can talk with loved one about your illness. The third point is so important, I think, because when you have problems about mind, you can share with them.

Why I recommend you disclose your disease first

Unfortunately, some people don’t like people with mental disorders. If you have a relationship with such people, it would have an unhappy future. But you can avoid the future by disclosing your disease. You can know he or she is worth trusting by sharing your disease. Unluckily, he or she rejects you, don’t mind! He or she is not just worth dating. You can have a chance to meet better people, I promise.

Disclosing your disease is sometimes hard or difficult, but it can be used to choose your suitable people. It is good, isn’t it?

Good sleeping is important for patients with schizophrenia

People with mental disorders often have sleeping problems. Some people are poor at going to sleep, while others often wake up at night. Needless to say, people with schizophrenia like me often have sleeping problem. I’ll show you how to deal with those.

Don’t force yourself to sleep soon!

When you cannot go to sleep well, you often say to yourself in the mind, “I have to sleep soon!” As you know, many Japanese are serious, so many Japanese patients with mental disorders often do that. But it is not good for your sleep. When you force yourself to sleep, it is hard to sleep. So, my advice is not to think too much when you are on bed. Or it is good to say to yourself, “I will feel relaxed by laying on bed.”

 

Waking up at night may be avoidable

When I drink more water than usual or think about negative things, I likely wake up at night. So, my advice is you make routine before going bed. For example, you set time going to bed, you drink a glass of water, you stretch… If you wake up at night, you may feel upset. Don’t worry. Just lying on bed with your eyes close and not thinking too much is appropriate measures, I think.

 

Sleeping medicine is good for people with schizophrenia

Actually I take one pill before going to bed, which have been my routine since diagnosed with schizophrenia. I tried some to sleep without sleeping medicine. The result was not good. When I tried to sleep without medicine, it was so hard to go to sleep. So, if you are prescribed, you should take medicine. When you take less drug, you can try to stop taking medicine.

Sleeping is so important for your body and body. I hope you have a nice dream tonight!