How to go steady with your lover well

Some people with mental diseases have lovers including me. How they keep their relationship? In this article, I will show you how to go steady with your lover well in the point of view of a patient with mental illness.

Disclose your disease to your lover

Some people with mental illnesses, especially Japanese, hesitate to disclose their disease to their lovers because they don’t want their lovers to dislike them. They already know some people don’t like the people having mental diseases, so it may applies to their lovers. But if you cannot trust your lover, it is not a serious love, isn’t it? If you love him or her, trust him or her. If he or she reject you, it means he or she is just an unworthy of your lover.

Don’t depend on your lover too much 

If you are people with mental illnesses, you may tend to depend on your lover. But is it really good? It’s ok to talk to your lover about your disease and sometimes want your lover’s advice, of course. It isn’t good to limit your lover’s personal life or demand to come to see you very often despite of his or her being busy. I recommend to keep comfortable space between you and your lover, which is different among people. So, talk to your lover deeply how relationship is suitable to you.

Your goal is marriage? Really?

If you have a serious relationship to your lover, you may want to get married someday. But is it really good? Unfortunately some people with mental diseases have poorer income than healthy people do. It can be difficult to make a living when you get married. If your lover says, “Don’t mind. I have large income.” No problem. But if your lover says,” we are an independent couple, right? So, we have to make a living by working equally.”

It’s a problem. So, I recommend to seek your way to keep your relationship. For example, you save money to live together with your lover. When you live together with your lover, getting income is a lover’s job, while cooking, cleaning or laundry is your job. It is one of good choice, I think.

People with mental illnesses have a lot of difficulty to keep relationship with your lover, but also can make a deep bond with your lover because of their illness.