My experience: hallucination

I have schizophrenia. One of main symptoms in schizophrenia is hallucination. I had hallucination, too. What hallucination is like? In this article, I will explain my hallucination experience.

Before diagnosis of schizophrenia 

Before I got schizophrenia, I had had social anxiety disorder. So, I had seen a doctor since I was 14. Although I visited a psychiatrist regularly, my mental condition did not get better, and what’s worse, I got schizophrenia. A bit before I got the disease, I had a lot of hallucination. For example, I saw rats crawling on the wall at night. I was woke at night by be swayed, which was not once, very often, or even several times on the same night.

A bit after diagnosis of schizophrenia

When I realized terrible things happened to me, my hallucination was so awful. When I go out or sometimes even in my room, I heard someone was talking behind my back. It was so awful. If I moved to bathroom, the voice said, ”Hey, you get the bathroom dirty!” And I often got a nightmare, which was often related to ghost. The nightmare woke up and I could not sleep again soon and the fear made me leave the light on because I wanted to avoid darkness.

The current situation about hallucination

These days, I rarely have hallucination. Because I have improved my mental condition by taking medicine as told by doctor. However, I sometimes, not often, have a strange feeling like feeling ghosts around me when I feel stressed. I don’t like this experience but somehow give up disappearing this feeling. I realize I can recover to some degree but I have to accept my condition related to schizophrenia.

In this article, I wrote about my experience of hallucination. Actually, it is difficult for healthy people to imagine hallucination. But people with this experience actually exist around the world. Please remember that.